How to Deal With A Toxic Boss

It’s a situation far too many of us encounter in our work lives: we are performing well, enjoying our jobs, and then a new boss comes in - and the next thing you know, you are perceived as though you cannot do anything right.

I have walked this path, both in my own career and in supporting our clients - and the experience can be soul-crushing. In every instance, the individual has to find a way to survive and thrive with these dire circumstances, and to that end, I thought it would be helpful to share a few tips of some of the ways I have worked around toxic bosses:

1.) Document what is asked of you and parrot it back via email to be sure expectations are crystal clear. This can help to limit untrue feedback about your performance to expectations.

2.) Gather the facts and have them always at your disposal. Document what happened in meetings, the decisions that were made and what you executed upon, with what results. Note others who were present and heard/observed the truth. This log can be vital when preparing for one-on-one meetings as well as the year-end review.

3.) We routinely tell our clients that if you are going to object to a proposal or idea, be prepared to offer alternative solutions. In that way, you are perceived as a problem-solver, not a complainer.

4.) When you receive “kudos,” or congratulatory communications about your wins, keep them, and share them with your boss in a way to show the boss how your win has benefitted the team - and the boss.

5.) Build a network of supporters, both within the company and external to the company. If you cannot get the professional support and growth you need from your boss, you can get it elsewhere through speaking opportunities, mentoring opportunities and professional association involvement. These activities also help position you to network for a new opportunity elsewhere – something you definitely need to be doing.

Please remember that the documentation I am recommending needs to be kept on your personal computer, not your work computer. Whatever is kept on a company computer can be read by the company, and if your employment is terminated, so is your access to your work computer.